


Going Forward

by regnantqueen



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Complete, F/F, Gen, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20469911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regnantqueen/pseuds/regnantqueen
Summary: Chloe's alive, but Arcadia Bay is gone. Along with most of its residents.How is Max supposed to live with that?(Now complete!)





	1. What brings you here today?

_ Recording 1, Part 1 _

**Elizabeth Galbraith, LCSW:** The time is 12:33 PM, on November 2, 2013. This is Elizabeth Galbraith and this is my first session with Max Caulfield. Could you please state your full name?  
  
**Max Caulfield:** Uh, sure. Maxine Caulfield, but please call me Max.

**EG:** Definitely. And for the record, we’ve talked about me recording our sessions, and about the security precautions I take to protect these recordings, correct?  
  
**MC:** Yep. 

**EG:** And do I have your permission to record this session and any future sessions? 

**MC:** Yes. 

**EG:** Ok, great. That’s out of the way. 

**MC:** So that’s like, a legal thing? 

**EG:** Kind of. It’s not technically required to record your consent officially like that, but I like to for myself. It makes me make sure I’ve really explained everything. 

**MC:** Got it. 

**EG:** So, Max. What brings you here today? 

**MC:** I’ve, um. Been looking for a therapist. I really need to talk to someone, and I need someone I can. Um. Trust. 

**EG:** Why’s that? 

**MC:** I...just… 

_(Pause)_

**EG:** Can’t tell me unless you trust me, huh? 

**MC:** Kinda. 

**EG:** That’s fine. You got referred to me, right? 

**MC:** Yeah. By this girl Kendra I met at a concert. She said she’s been seeing you for a long time. 

**EG:** She was actually one of my first patients. She’s great.

**MC:** She likes you. 

**EG:** That’s good to hear. 

**MC:** She said...um, sorry if this is rude, but she said you’re gay.  
  
**EG:** I am, yeah. My girlfriend and I have been together four years. 

**MC:** That’s awesome! 

**EG:** Is...that something you want to talk about? Being gay?

**MC:** I mean...no. But I am, and I wanted to talk to someone who… 

**EG:** I totally understand.  
  
**MC:** That's cool. I just move back to Seattle with my, uh. My girlfriend. Chloe.

**EG:** You must like her. You’re smiling for the first time since you came in. 

**MC:** She’s great. Really great. She’s my first girlfriend, but we’ve been friends for a long time, and I just...yeah, I like her. 

**EG:** Where did you move here from?  
  
**MC:** Um. 

**EG:** It’s ok if… 

**MC:** No. I mean, that’s why I’m here. I was going to this boarding school, Blackwell. In Arcadia Bay. 

**EG:** Oh...oh my god. 

**MC:** Yeah.

**EG:** Were you in town, when the storm…?  
  
**MC:** Right outside of town, which is why I...how I got out. 

**EG**: Did you lose anyone you knew?

_(Pause)_

**MC:** I lost everyone. Except for Chloe, I lost them all.


	2. Symptoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone like Max is capable of extraordinary things, and of persisting under extraordinary pressure. 
> 
> But if there's one thing Max has learned, it's that everything has consequences.

_ Recording 1, part 2 _

**Max Caulfield:** I lost everyone. Except for Chloe, I lost them all. 

**Elizabeth Galbraith, LCSW:** Ok. Wow. (Pause) I’m sorry, Max. I’m so sorry. How have you been coping?

**MC:** Not great. I know Chloe’s worried about me. My mom and dad think I’m depressed.

**EG:** What do you think?

**MC:** (Pause) I haven’t been doing good.

**EG:** How so?  
  
**MC:** (Pause) I’m having bad dreams.  
  
**EG:** What about?

**MC:** The storm. And… (Pause) Also other things. That happened recently. I don’t want to talk about that right now.

**EG:** Ok. Is it interfering with your sleep?

**MC:** Um, yeah. I don’t usually sleep through the night. And it’s hard to fall asleep, so. I’m always kind of tired. (Pause) Not...kind of tired. I’m exhausted. Always. Right now. 

**EG:** Anything else?

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** How’s your mood?  
  
**MC:** I feel weird. 

**EG:** Weird how?  
  
**MC:** Like. (Pause) I saw this...fight, once.  
  
**EG:** Like a fist fight?  
  
**MC:** Y-yeah, like a fist fight. But it wasn’t kids, it was two adults. And it was intense. It was life and death. And I just watched this fight. Just watched. I couldn’t do anything. But I was stuck there and I had to keep watching. Just watching.

**EG:** Do you feel like you’re just watching now?  
  
**MC:** ...Yeah.

**EG:** Like, detached? Like things are just happening and you aren’t really there?

**MC:** (Pause) Yes. Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. Like, all the time. 

**EG:** Got it. That’s very common.

**MC:** ...Really?

**EG:** Absolutely. Dissociation is the technical term. It’s a common response to extreme events. 

**MC:** Really.

**EG:** Absolutely. And I notice it seems like it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings.

**MC:** Yeah.

_ (Crying) _

**EG:** Oh, Max. Are you alright?

**MC:** Yeah. Sorry. That, um, hit a nerve. It’s been really hard talking to Chloe or mom and dad.

**EG:** I bet. That’s common with dissociation. Your brain still isn't sure it can cope with those feelings, so to protect you, it's trying very hard to keep them far away. That's why they're hard to talk about. And that's why they feel far away, hard to access. 

**MC:** Is there...anything you can do about it?

**EG:** Yes, Max. Yes there is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Max's first session with Elizabeth continues.
> 
> The dreams Max prefers not to talk about are about the Dark Room. She isn't ready for that, not yet. And the fight she describes is, as you probably guessed, the fight between David and Jefferson in the Dark Room. I had a really striking experience playing that sequence because it took me a while to figure it out, meaning I was stuck watching it play out over, and over, and over. Something similar happened to Max in this story, and being stuck in that moment for so long and unsure if there even was a way out left an impression on her.


	3. What can you talk about?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth explains the rules. Max tests the limits. The past is immensely painful.

_ Recording 1, part 3 _

**Elizabeth Galbraith, LCSW:** What you’re going through, your brain shutting all of these feelings out so they can’t hurt you, is what we call a trauma response. It’s how people respond to something horrible that’s completely outside their past experiences. 

**Max Caulfield:** Like...PTSD?

**EG:** Yeah, post-traumatic stress disorder. It can look like all sorts of things. And nightmares, trouble sleeping, disassociation, those are all common reactions. (Pause) The storm was, what, a month ago?

**MC:** God, like.

**EG:** Three weeks? Does that sound right?

**MC:** Yeah. 

**EG:** So, for you, we’re not talking about PTSD. PTSD takes longer to form. And that’s good, actually, because PTSD is much harder to treat than a more recent trauma response. Not impossible, but harder. 

**MC:** Ok. That’s good, I guess. (Pause) So...what do we do?

**EG:** Well, a good first step is...do you want to tell me what happened?

**MC:** What happened?   
  
**EG:** Maybe start with this. Where were you when you first heard the storm was coming?

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** Is that ok?

**MC:** Ok. Um. So, this is...this is the part where I have to trust you.

**EG:** ...I see. 

**MC:** Yeah.

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** Ok. I don’t know what you’re holding onto, which makes it hard to give you advice, but I’m going to tell you the law about therapist confidentiality, ok? It’s illegal for me to tell anyone what happens in our sessions without your consent. Since you’re over 18, that includes your parents. And since you’re over 18, that applies to literally everything that you tell me with one exception, and that’s if someone is in urgent danger and telling someone could help them, ok? So that’s the law.

**MC:** Uh huh.

**EG:** And it’s also ethics. It’s what I believe in. So I will never tell anyone outside this room anything you tell me unless I have to to help someone else. 

**MC:** Uh huh.

**EG:** And like I said before, it’s really good you’re here now. So close to the storm, because you’re giving yourself the best possible chance to heal. I’m really glad you’re here, talking about it. (Pause) And I guess...if there’s some things you can’t talk about...well, what can you talk about from the storm?

_ (Pause) _

**MC:** ...I was with Chloe. During, like, the storm itself. It was stupid, probably, looking back, we just stayed up by the lighthouse. It’s on this cliff overlooking the town. So we saw everything. The tornado was...I mean, it was like a movie. It was worse than a movie, it was so huge, this enormous...I think the word is funnel? We saw a boat flying through the air. Or, wait...I’m...not sure that actually happened…

**EG:** Trouble remembering is common with traumatic events.

**MC:** No. It’s not that. I...god. Forget it. Anyway, we were there watching, and I mean I’m sure it was dangerous where we were, up on this cliff. Lightning, and wind...but we were just staring at the town, and the storm kept getting closer.    
  
**EG:** What were you thinking?

**MC:** I was thinking about the Two Whales, mostly. Um...I…

**EG:** It’s ok, Max.

_ (Crying) _

**EG:** That’s good. You’re alright. This is good.

_ (Crying) _   


_ (Crying) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big caveat, I am not a lawyer, I am not a mental health professional, everything Elizabeth says is based on googling, not direct knowledge.


	4. The leap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth realizes something. Max decides something.

_ Recording 1, Part 4 _

_ (Crying) _

_ (Crying gradually subsides) _

_ (Pause) _

**Elizabeth Galbraith, LCSW:** So...what’s the Two Whales?   
  
**Max Caulfield:** It’s a diner. It...was. It’s where Chloe’s mom worked. She was a waitress. She was so awesome, she was like the queen of that place. And my friend Warren was there. Um, he’d said he was going there to study, so...And this guy Frank. He was, like, a regular. Chloe hated him cause like…

**EG:** Yes?   
  
**MC:** So...you said everything I say is confidential?   
  
**EG:** Everything.

**MC:** What about, like, a crime?   
  
**EG:** Unless someone’s about to get hurt, it’s confidential.

**MC:** Ok. Well...he was Chloe’s drug dealer. He sold her weed, mostly, I think. But they had an argument, she owed him money and there was...they both lost someone, it’s a long story. Chloe hated him, that’s the point, but I didn’t, I thought he was...sad. And they were all in the Two Whales. 

**EG:** You think.

**MC:** I know. 

**EG:** Ok. What...happened to the Two Whales?

**MC:** It’s gone. It’s gone. There’s nothing there, there isn’t a foundation. It was directly in the path of the tornado.

**EG:** Who else did you lose? Besides Joyce, and Warren, and Frank. 

**MC:** God, everyone! I couldn’t save Kate, I couldn’t save Victoria, I couldn’t save Dana or Taylor or Daniel or stupid fucking Nathan Prescott, or even...Chloe’s stepdad, David, he was awful but he helped us, he really did, but even him. I couldn’t save anyone.

**EG:** Ah. (Pause) Max...it’s not your fault they died. 

_ (Crying) _

_ (Pause) _   
  
**EG:** You feel responsible for all those deaths. 

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** Why is that?

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** Hm. Max, is part of the thing you can’t talk about the reason that you feel responsible for what happened?

(Pause)

**MC:** Everything I say is confidential?

**EG:** Yes.

**MC:** What if.

**EG:** Yes?

**MC:** What if, like...you think I’m hallucinating, or I’m delusional?

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** Ok. Let me be as clear as possible. If I think you’re in danger, if I think you’re going to leave this office and hurt yourself or someone else, no, maybe not. But if you believe...I don’t know...Give me an example, not what you’re actually worried about.

**MC:** I’m...the...queen of England?

**EG:** Sure. Something like “I’m the queen of England.” No, that’s still between you and me. I’d probably advise you to seek certain kinds of treatment, but if you’re not in danger, and no one else is in danger, it’s still between us.   
  
**MC:** You know my mom is paying for this?   
  
**EG:** Yes, and that doesn’t change anything.

_ (Pause) _   
  
**MC:** I can see why Kendra likes you.

**EG:** Yeah?

**MC:** You feel safe. You feel honest.

**EG:** Thanks.

**MC:** It’s really cute that you’ve been dating your girlfriend for four years.

**EG:** (laughter) Thank you.

**MC:** And you’re, like, not making me say anything I don’t want to. 

**EG:** No.

_(Pause)_  
  
**MC:** How long do we have left?   
  
**EG:** 20 minutes. You can always check this clock here.

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** What’s wrong?   
  
**MC:** I have, like, a thing about clocks. Since…

**EG:** Yes?

**MC:** O...ok. I guess I’m doing this. (Pause) I think a while ago, you asked where I was when I found out a storm was coming?   
  
**EG:** Yeah.

**MC:** Ok. Ok. Ok. (Pause) Please let me get this all out. It’s a lot. So, I was in class. Photography. And I, like, dozed off. And I had a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual caveat, I am not a lawyer or mental health professional and Elizabeth's answer here is based on google.
> 
> This will be the last chapter following Max and Elizabeth's first session O.O


	5. A lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and Elizabeth start their second session. Elizabeth reframes the issue; Max gets to the heart of things.

_Recording 2, part 1_

**Elizabeth Galbraith, LCSW:** Good...uhhhh… officially good afternoon. The time is 12:01pm on November 5th, 2013. This is my second session with Max Caulfield.

**Max Caulfield:** That’s me. Listen, um, thanks for seeing me again so soon.

**EG:** Of course. You have a lot going on. How are you doing, Max?   
  
**MC:** Not great.

**EG:** I’m sorry to hear that.

**MC:** We kind of ran out of time last time. I kind of got to the end and you didn’t get to say, like…

**EG:** What?

**MC:** I mean...do you think I’m crazy?

**EG:** No.

**MC:** Well, do you believe me?

**EG:** I actually don’t want to talk about time travel today.

**MC:** Because you think I’m crazy.

**EG:** No. First of all, I don’t apply that word to people, ever. But second, and I’ve been thinking about this a lot, whether or not you can time travel isn’t necessarily important to the work you want to do with me.

**MC:** No? 

**EG:** No. Have you told anyone else about this ability you say you have? Other than Chloe?

**MC:** No. Not a soul.

**EG:** I figured that, based off our conversation last session. And are you living your life any differently based on this ability?

**MC:** No...I’m not even sure I can anymore, after the storm. Like, maybe it was just connected to that time? And I won’t try. I don’t know what could happen. 

**EG:** Right. So for right now, what does it matter if you believe you can control time? You’re processing something that really is crazy, watching that storm destroy Arcadia Bay, losing all these people you cared about. I think we do need to talk about time travel eventually. But there’s a lot we can talk about before we get there.   
  
**MC:** ...Ok. Ok, maybe. What did you have in mind?   
  
**EG:** Well, whatever you want, but I thought we might start with Kate Marsh. 

**MC:** Ah.

**EG:** Is that ok?

**MC:** Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine. Why Kate?

**EG:** Well, I actually looked that up online because the picture you painted was so striking. People were calling you a hero.

**MC:** Yeah.

**EG:** You don’t feel like a hero, though.

**MC:** No! I also killed her!   
  
**EG:** Because you caused the storm.

**MC:** Yes! I could have saved Kate, she could have gotten out of the hospital and gotten stronger and happier every day, and gone to church and prayed and written a hundred children’s books, and I took that away! What right did I have to do that?

**EG:** You really do feel responsible. 

**MC:** Yes! Yes. And I know you don’t believe me about the storm…

**EG:** No, no, don’t worry about that right now. I just want to talk about the feeling. 

**MC:** ...Ok. Yes. I feel responsible. I.

_ (Pause) _   
  
**MC:** I killed Kate.

_ (Pause) _

**MC:** And I can never forgive myself for that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought a lot about this and I decided not to have Elizabeth accept Max's story for two reasons. One, I honestly don't think Max could persuade her (or most people) without actually demonstrating her abilities, and to me one of the bedrocks of Elizabeth's character is that she's honest with her patients. I didn't want her to lie to Max in order to get her to say more or open up. 
> 
> Two, one of the questions I really wanted to answer with this whole fic was, could a therapist not accept that very important part of Max's story, and help her anyway?
> 
> In this playthrough, Max saved Kate. Elizabeth brings up Kate because it's a verifiable detail that she's sure happened the way Max reported - news stories about it are still available online. Plus, of course, she picks up that Kate is important to Max. 
> 
> But I also wanted to address Kate because Kate is really hard for me to deal with in the Save Chloe ending. Of course we don't know exactly where the hospital is, maybe it's outside of town, Kate could actually be fine - but for this fic I really wanted to dig into the hard stuff. Max loves Chloe so much, but Max also cares deeply about Kate. How can she reconcile her decision with the fact that Kate died as a result of it?
> 
> Incidentally: Max says something we know is wrong. Kate wouldn't get out of the hospital in the "Save Arcadia Bay" ending because Nathan and Jefferson would be arrested before Nathan could drug Kate, the video of Kate would never go viral, and Kate would never wind up in the hospital. Listen, Max is very emotional about this, she's not thinking about it clearly, give a girl a break :P


	6. Grateful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth asks Max to try a few things.

_Recording 2, part 2_

**Max Caulfield:** I killed Kate.

_ (Pause) _

**MC:** And I can never forgive myself for that. 

**Elizabeth Galbraith, LCSW:** So. You feel like you killed Kate yourself?

**MC:** No, I DID kill Kate, because I could have saved her, and I DIDN’T, and you don’t BELIEVE ME. 

_ (Pause) _

**EG:** Sorry, Max. I said that wrong. Let me try...ok, I think we can agree on this much. You didn’t try to save Kate from the storm, because you wanted to prioritize Chloe’s safety, and your own. 

**MC:** ...Yes. Ok.

**EG:** Ok. Ok. (Pause) Ok. I’d like to try something.

_ (Rustling, movement) _

**EG:** Here.

**MC: **What is this for?

**EG: **I want to try an exercise called gratitude journaling.

**MC: **Ok…

**EG: ** Have you ever tried this before?   
  
**MC: **No. But I have kept a journal.

**EG: **Oh, that’s great. Are you keeping it now?

**MC: **No. No, I...haven’t really had energy for it since the storm.

**EG: ** Got it. Well, gratitude journaling is just like keeping a diary except you’re staying specifically focused on things you’re grateful for. 

**MC: ** Ok...why?   
  
**EG: **Well, it has a lot of proven benefits…

**MC: **No, I mean, what does this have to do with Kate?

**EG: **Oh, got it. I skipped a step there. (Pause) I think this is a statement we can agree on...you can’t go back and undue your choice about the storm.

**MC: **Yeah. I’m not using my power again, period. 

**EG: ** Ok. But at the same time, you find it very difficult to live with the decision you made.   
  
**MC: **Yeah.

**EG: **Ok. So, here’s a secret, Max. A therapist secret.

**MC: **Great, hit me.

**EG: **I can’t make what happened better.

**MC:** Ok…

**EG: **Ever.

**MC: **Ok...so...what are you saying?

**EG: ** I’m saying, what happened, happened. It will always have happened. But what you can change is your relationship to it.   
  
**MC:** My relationship to killing Kate?

**EG: **Or...your relationship to saving Chloe, to keeping her safe. (Pause) Here’s what I’d like to try. Do you feel safe closing your eyes?

**MC: **Uh. Yeah.

**EG: **Ok, go ahead. Now, picture Chloe.

**MC: **Ok. Yeah.

**EG: **Where do you think she is right now?

**MC: **Oh, I know. She’s at the skate park near our school. 

**EG: **Skating?

**MC: **Yeah, she had kind of quit, but she’s picked it back up since we’ve been here. She’s really good and she’s actually really competitive; she’s always having a big showdown with some guy who assumes he’s better because she’s a girl. 

**EG: **I don’t know much about skating, does she have a favorite, like, move, or trick?

**MC:** Oh god, I don’t know much more about it than you, but there’s this thing called an impossible? Like an ollie impossible maybe? I remember because the name is so funny. She like kicks the board and it does this crazy spin beneath her and then she lands on it perfectly. 

**EG: **Ok, I have no idea what you’re talking about…

_ (Max laughs) _

**EG: **But can you picture it?

**MC: **Yeah.

**EG: **Ok, imagine Chloe, right now at the skate park, just doing a perfect...aw-lo impossible.

**MC: **(laughs) That’s definitely not it. But...ok.

**EG: **Ok. Open your eyes. Now, I want you to just write down five things that your grateful for about Chloe. 

_ (Pause, then paper rustling, pen scratching for a full 90 seconds). _

**EG: **Done?

**MC:** Yeah. Should I…?

**EG: **You don’t have to, but I’d love to hear it.

**MC: **Um, yeah, ok. So. “One, Chloe is my first girlfriend. I knew I was bi and I had never told anyone, and I’m grateful that that’s part of my life now.” 

**EG:** Oh, you’re bi?

**MC: **I...I think so? I’ve never had a boyfriend, but…

**EG: **That’s great! 

**MC: **Are you…?

**EG: **No, but actually my girlfriend is. 

**MC: **Oh...cool!

**EG: **Yeah! But, please, go on.

**MC: **Ok. Uh, this one is...Well, “two, Chloe is the only person who knows what happened in Arcadia Bay and believes me, and she’s the only person I can be completely honest with. Three, Chloe believes in me and trusts me. She calls me Super Max and tells me there’s nothing I can’t do and when she says it I actually believe her. Four, Chloe is brave and knows exactly who she is and she taught me that I want to be like that too. Five, um.”   
  
**EG:** You’re doing great.

**MC: **Um, I wasn’t sure what else to say like that so I wrote about...Um, “Five, last weekend I was hard for me to get out of bed and Chloe went out and got waffle mix and made me breakfast in bed and sat with me past noon even though I was being really pissy and awful.”

**EG:** Wow.

**MC: **...Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter, and the whole end of the piece, extensively in the last few days. It's better now, but I'm also confronting just how big a challenge I've set for myself. It may affect the number of chapters (there may actually only be 7, believe it or not).
> 
> I'm a strong believer in the importance of finishing things, and that the perfect is the enemy of the good, so I'm going to push forward rather than keep tinkering with this forever to make it perfect, but I am humbled by the topic. 
> 
> Life is hard, and as a society our understanding of and skill at promoting mental health is imperfect. I don't know the right thing to help Max, and I'm not sure Elizabeth does either, but she's sure as hell going to try <3
> 
> Re: Max's declaration that she's bi. In this story, she is. I guess that's all I needed to say about that :) Love ya, bi friends.


	7. Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth is just asking questions. Max makes a decision about what she wants. 
> 
> Life keeps going.

_Recording 2, part 3_

**EG: **How do you feel right now?

**MC: **I feel...good. Right at this moment. Chloe...Chloe is good. 

**EG:** Yeah. I can tell you really like her. And it sounds like she really likes you.

**MC: **Yeah. (Pause) But…what about...Kate? And everyone?

**EG: **Yeah. So, I promise, I wasn’t trying to distract you from them, or trick you. I just wanted to make a point. Which is...hmm...Kate is gone. People died in that storm, and you couldn’t save them. And that’s awful. But life also goes on. There are still good things and good people here. Chloe is still here.

**MC: **I guess.

**EG: **And you’re still here.

**MC: **I...guess.

**EG: **Mmhmm. (Pause) What are you thinking?

**MC: **I...almost...want to believe that. But…(Pause) Sorry, this is hard.

**EG: **It’s ok.

_ (Pause) _

**MC:** I don’t deserve...deserve to feel better. I don’t deserve to have Chloe, or go to shows, or...anything. I killed those people.

**EG: **(Pause) I see.

_ (Pause) _

**EG: **Guilt is a very common feeling for people who have survived something terrible like that, when other people didn’t. (Pause) But you’d probably say this isn’t like that. You really could have saved all those people.

**MC: **Yes.

_ (Pause) _

**MC: **Is this where we have to talk about time travel? And you have to tell me you just don’t believe me?

**EG:** (Pause) No. Let me ask you something else, instead. If Joyce had been there - that’s Chloe’s mom, right?

**MC:** Yeah.

**EG:** If Joyce had been there in your place, and made the same decision, would you say it was the wrong choice?

_ (Pause) _  
  
**EG:** Well?

**MC:** A... mom is different.

**EG:** Why? You love Chloe, just like her mom, right? (Pause) Let me ask you something else. If you had gone back to help everyone else, do you know for a fact, for sure, that you could have?

_ (Pause) _  
  
**EG:** And for the record, I mean if you had gone down from the cliff and into town to help people, but understand it how you like. Do you know you could have saved all those people? 

_ (Pause) _

**MC:** No. I don’t. I’d have a better chance than just walking down to the town. Chloe thought going back to the beginning would work. But none of my other changes worked exactly like I thought. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked. 

_ (Pause) _

**MC:** Ok. Ok. I get what you’re saying.  
  
**EG: **What am I saying?

**MC: **You’re saying that I...that it isn’t just a simple choice I made. That I was just...trying to figure out how to survive the storm, and the bullying, and Jefferson like everyone else. And maybe I knew some more stuff or had some other...options, but that doesn’t mean I could have magically known the right way to fix everything. 

**EG: **I never said anything like that, but I think what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. 

**MC**: (Pause) You know, you are very tricky for someone who seems so trustworthy. 

**EG: **Thank you!

**MC: **That wasn’t a…(Laughter) Ok. Ok. But it’s not that simple. I hear what you’re saying. I...hadn’t thought of it like that. But...maybe I couldn’t have fixed everything. Maybe there was no right answer. But those people are still dead because of me. That isn’t going to just go away.

**EG:** No. Definitely not. I’m not saying it will, or even that it should. But Max, neither are you. And it’s going to get better.

_ (Paus) _

**EG: **The story you told me, all the changes you say you made to fix things... Save Chloe, save Chloe’s dad, stop the killer. It’s all...going _ back _ to make things better. But you can’t do that anymore. You have to go _ forward _. And going forward sucks! Making things better going forward is slow, it’s painful, and it requires compromise. A father gets in a car crash, a teenager gets shot, a natural disaster kills people. I can see why you’d prefer the alternative. But you can keep moving forward. With help. Chloe, and your parents, and people like Kendra. And me. 

_ (Pause) _

_ (Pause continues) _

**EG:** What are you thinking?  
  
_ (Pause) _  
  
**MC:** I’m thinking...I want to try. I don’t feel better yet. But I really want to try. Going forward, or whatever. 

_ (Pause) _  
  
**EG:** Ok.

_ (Pause) _  
  
**EG**: So. What do you want to talk about next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that, believe it or not, is that. Some things I was thinking of as their own chapters got rolled together in 6 and 7, and this will be our last glimpse (for now) of Elizabeth and Max's conversations.
> 
> I hope I'm leaving you wanting to hear more, but I also hope you don't feel like this is too short or incomplete. I set out to do this with the objective that it would be achievable for me, which meant I kept my ambitions relatively small. Max isn't "better" at the end of this fic, but I think I've answered, at least for myself, the questions we started with, and I have an idea now of what the path forward will look like for Max. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading, commenting, and I hope enjoying <3

**Author's Note:**

> This fic began with the thought: "Max really needs therapy. Oh god...How is she going to talk to a therapist about this?"
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional (though I do see a therapist regularly and I have been treated for depression and anxiety) and I know how serious this topic is. I apologize in advance for any errors.
> 
> The basic questions I set out to answer in this and the following chapters:
> 
> 1) How could Max find a therapist she can talk to and work up the nerve to tell her story?  
2) Could a therapist help Max even if she didn't believe Max could manipulate time?  
3) Can Max ever learn to live with destroying Arcadia Bay?
> 
> Join me as I try to find out.


End file.
